If Only Chapter Twenty Eight Part B
Cold sweat started to drench my palms, the feeling of guilt and misbehaved as if I had done something cruel to him. Something like cheating on him. He might've not shown it clearly but I could easily spot his darkened eyes filled with sorrow and anger. I didn't want him to misunderstand, I wanted to explain everything but it would just like spreading salts onto his wounds. Having his girlfriend slept with other guy, even we didn't do anything shameful still would hurt his pride as a man.
I remembered the time when he almost burnt with jealousy towards Julie and other guy's intimacy, said that was just the way he was-an old' jealous fart. And so that I was afraid the hot-tempered Tyler finally reached his limit and burst out the fire from within his heart, flaming wounded.
"Just took her home? " Tyler narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "Where have you been, when the sun just barely shows up? " He asked.
I watched his face turned sour, looking at me bitterly as if he was on his way getting ready for the worst answer. My heart throbbed, to add another heartbroken memory in his life would be just the lowest thing I'd even afraid of dreaming.
"I-"I really wanted to assure him that nothing happened, nothing to be worried about, but no words seemed to be less harmful. I was afraid he would not want to hear the rest once I spilled the truth.
"What a worrywart, " Russel butted in, with his arms rose made its way behind his head, "I only asked her out, that's what, "
I couldn't believe my ears, how dare he said such a reckless thing unequivocally!
"Y-you what? " Tyler fists clenched, and just like a melting ice, I found myself touched his hands and held it there.
"Nothing happened, " I said, half-choked holding back my sadness, "Something to do with errands and I happened to meet him-nothing happened, "
I was telling the truth about errands which meant assignment and nothing really happened, so this time I was not lying.
"Did he really ask you out? " I shook my beats tour by 
Well he did ask me out, but not in that sort of way.
"Whoa-wait, I am surprised you dare to claim yourself as her guy, " Russel word's made me shiver as I heard his very sarcastic tone, "When you don't have faith in her, "
Oh, good grief. Who's picking a fight now?
Tyler turned oddly quiet, his gaze lost into an empty space for a while. Sighing, he finally managed to look at Russel and said, beats by dre dre tour "Just who are you to butt in other people's affair? " I could sense poison in his words.
Russel frowned and somehow for a second I saw his troubled face before he quickly changed it into a smirk, fast enough that beats by dre solo hd headphones it made even the most observant people missed it.
"My bad, " He said, "True I am just your substitute player in team and nothing more than a good for nothing partner for Sam, "
"But your selfish behavior simply pisses me off, " Russel picked his car key from the nearest table and started to walk away. He walked pass Tyler and stopped just next to him, "Though it's better for you not knowing everything, " He said cryptically, leaving a huge question mark inside Tyler's head before he left.
I watched as Russel's
"I'm sorry, " Tyler muttered, "I won't flood you with anymore question, just" He hesitated, looking at me with his most distracting looks, reached out his hands and pulled me closer onto his side, "Stay, "
I stroke his hair, and playing with its strands while he lay his head on my lap. I couldn't believe I ditched school today, and here I was; inside Tyler's house, watching No Strings Attached. Ok. I just didn't have the chance to watch it in the movie, so I thought I'd watch it at home. And Tyler said he hadn't watch the movie as well so... yes, our eyes just glued onto the screen and watched the 'passionate' Natalie and Ashton's 'it' scenes kept continuing.
"What will happen if we stay friends like we used to be? " Tyler quietly asked, dre beats pro much to my surprise. I couldn't look at his face because his attention seemed fully on the screen. I held my breath and blew it at once, "I guess... I wouldn't be this selfish and annoying, right? " He added with a grim tone.
"And it'll be too painful to hold it in, I'd think it wouldn't be enough, " I said, "It could never be enough, "
"Instead, I should be the one mourning, you know. You are not selfish, I am. You wouldn't lose your friends and all those attentions. You won't lose anything if you chose to be single after Julie, if you chose not to choose me -"
A fresh, cold and perfect motion of Tyler's lips roughly shut my mouth, his body arched to meet mine. I could hardly breathe due to the tension. I guess I had made him angry by saying such terrible thing. I felt a shudder rippling inside my heart, a painful one that seemed to struggle against what's rational. I knew that I was not suitable for him. That was why I said that kind of thing.
Even though in every line, I tried not to lose my composure. Even though, my heart and my mind always thought of this matter differently. I just wanted to hold him, and never let go. But that seemed to be hard because I was afraid someday he would come to his senses and said that kind of thing, like, "I was wrong"
As the thought kept poisoning, I reached my hands to hold Tyler, and he embraced me even tighter. Our kiss grew harder, sounds of time ticking gradually shifted, replaced by our fast beat of hearts.
"That's like saying we, originally aren't meant to be, " Tyler muttered, with his seductive, half-panting husky voice while running his finger from my neck down to my back line. I felt like there were lots of bugs buzzing inside my stomach, there was this kind of pleasant feelings mixed with uneasiness. And I couldn't place how to explain those kinds of mixture because all I could really aware of was, here, it felt kinda hot.
"Yet I keep on hoping that we are, " I closed my eyes and felt his hot breath blew on my face.
It once started with tiny pecks along my jaw lines that he surprised me. And his lips lingered on one spot just beneath the hollow of my ear, I shivered.
"Then never stop believing, " He said before I felt this sensation of... something I wasn't quite familiar after he bit that current spot he's been exploring with that lush lips of his. He left me one tiny mark just on that current spot, a red cherry-like love bite which would turn darker and noticeable the next day onwards.
I had seen girls or boys having hickeys on their skins. It was like an every couple routine at our age. Now I had one myself, and Tyler said; it was a symbol that I was his.
Two days passed in a drag.
Tomorrow would be the last, and Tyler would come to school like he always did.
I opened my locker and put my boring U. S history book, somehow caught a glimpse of the new book I just bought yesterday; The Darkest Night.
And I suddenly wished that I wouldn't have addition class after calculus. I wanted to have a good read today.
Today was my routine Wednesday which I'd have to spend alone. I'd like to go out somewhere with Tyler though, but shame he had something important to attend as what he'd told me during our conversation through the phone. Lately, I kind of suspected, something just... something about him was just too suspicious. Like, he would stare at me for a long and gave me these sorts of indications which I had no goddamn idea what it meant.
And I didn't mean to smear blood on my pants by saying this or even having so much trouble thinking about this, but lately as well, I turned to not having much surprise whenever I saw Tyler and Julie talking to each other without me being around, because they did it several times back before he got punished. And, I hated to say this, but that kind of hurt my pride as his current girlfriend.
"I didn't know what they were talking about, " I ran my tongue over my teeth, scratching my notes and filled it with abstract lines, "Tyler hasn't told me a thing, " And I was bristling upon it-I thought.
"She's being a pain lately by stalking him around, " Ellie nodded, talking between bites of her Chocolate Banana Crepes.
"And acting like, totally bitch, " Rebbeca scolded.
"Isn't she going out with Jason? " Chad stopped forking his meal with a frown on his forehead, ready to get himself some hot news to gossip roundabout. But he was too late for the hot news, since it was frozen already.
"Well, where have you been like, these past twenty centuries-you have never been this stupid before, Chad, " Ronne rolled his eyes, scoffing.
"I haven't seen Russel around today, " Chris said, being clueless as he always did.
"Where'd you throw that brilliant brain of yours, Chris? Did you lost it somewhere inside a gutter? You know, and we all know that Russel is supposed to be grounded for the whole week so of course, yes Chief, he hasn't been wandering around aimlessly for today and a week onwards, " Rebbeca spluttered sarcastically. Well, looks like someone's having a bad mood today.
We were all gathered in House of Pizza and did some chitchats about stuff.
All of us-my friends and I, plus The Prime Chief of School's paper, Chris, and Shattered Doths without their vocalist-seemed to be absorbed by our own topics that we started acting like we owned the restaurant by being all fussy, and thunderous.
"Anyway, anyway, what confuses me is why in the hell that J-whore wants to get him back like there is no other smoking hot guys sneaking underneath her invisible panties, " Rebbeca said with such a loud voice to get our attention, and the girls started to laugh out loud hearing her outrageous joke.
"And she's not the type of girl who dates men seriously, unless that guy has some very powerful techniques of busting balls, "
My eyes bugged because of Rebbeca's jaw-dropping lines, "That is unbearably gross, " I hit her arm and cursed. She should start working on her dirty mouth first though, before I did, ever so mercilessly on her behalf.
"Heard you guys talking about turtle's boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, " Out from nowhere, Russel appeared and got himself a seat next to mine.
"Russel? " I turned to look at him and saw a black-haired man with the most appealing green eyes staring back at me.
"Hi, "
"Yo, Russ-you came, finally, " Chad leaned over to hit Russel's shoulder with his fist.
"Yeah, man, you heard us well-talking about dirty chick always
Russel chuckled and slightly nodded in agreement, "We can just simplify and conclude, " a low and seductive voice rang through my ears, "The ho wants the dick back, and she wants to get it back A. S. A. P, " He spelled the abbreviation out letter by letter, like he was trying to paddle it up inside our heads.
Like he was trying to paddle it up inside my head.
"Can we stop talking dirty now? I'd like to eat my Pizza, "
"Well, not when the king of talking dirty himself is here, " Chad glanced at Russel, and now the attention seemed to be drawn by him, "Seriously? "
I frowned, and Russel was like raising his eyebrows in amusement, "Excuse me? "
"Stop with the hints. You should not insult a gentleman, "
We all groaned at how he was so full of himself,
"WHERE?! "
He snickered, "Bastards, "
***
If Only Chapter Twenty Nine
I guess the district road was always fun to play around.
And I guess being dragged here and there wasn't that bad.
Because I seemed to have my best shots and great laughs with them lot.
Today was the same hot weather in the evening, at 04. 15 precisely.
Matt, Ellie, Chris and Rebbeca walked ahead of us, while Ronne, Chad and Claudia sped up leaving me and Russel behind. I knew it might sound a little crazy, but I think those gals had planned something even crazier. Though, I didn't remember I'd ever had this much of friends back in Middle School.
It was simple, actually, as simple as sticking your nose deep into a world's history book which was exactly why I didn't get a single living thing talking to me besides the teachers and Tyler. I had no idea why studying so hard, and a little straight-laced (okay, maybe not a little) considered as a GEEK or NERD.
It was a bit frustrating, though, the way their narrow mind works, like nothing other than brands, jocks, cheerleaders, boobs, and all the make outs.
"You are a no one if you ain't wear Lou-V" That was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard.
Well sorry if I walked around wearing cheap cloths, not everyone had a rich Dad like Paris Hilton. And not everyone had to be as fashionable and sophisticated as in Gossip Girl's sophisticated, urgh...
And while we were in the topic, guess which one had the longest episodes between Gossip Girl and The Hills? Bite me.
I dare you not to answer Baywatch... because Pam's breasts made want to cry. She had me moping around, about my whole 17 years living, complaining about my shameful A-cup, so, yeah.
"Your skin looks tanned, " I paid much attention of how Russel's practically pale skin had changed so much in just two days. I'd had put all my efforts to tan mine last spring, but I guess my skin just wouldn't cooperate - instead it left me a serious burnt on my back which lasted for two weeks precisely.
I heard him chuckle, so lightly and barely audible, "I played a lot, " He said.
And that was what it takes to get a perfect tan?! Playing outside for hours, whilst I'd had sacrificed all my summer time with indestructible will to be tanned? What a vulnerable skin.
"No tanning machine? " I asked, curious.
"And I am so Gay, " He winced, frowning.
I laughed at his answer and started teasing him, "What then, kites? "
"Nice suggestion, " He grinned, flashing me his pearl white teeth, "But actually, I didn't do much, " He said, "Just a little exercising, and a lot of thinking, "
Okay. That was personal.
"It wasn't that hard to have your skin changed its color, or have it burnt especially in a day like this, " He shrugged.
"I can't be more agree, " I stated, suddenly felt the heat crawling up my skin.
He was wearing red today, with long 7/8 sleeves and unbuttoned, revealing his slender collarbone and a slight sight of his bare chest. With a little pendant jingled between his cloth and chest, I couldn't yet figure out its form. Red made his cold green eyes stood out, and a black piercing on his left ear appeals to me even more.
And oh, I had to remind myself that this guy's stare was the most dangerous above all.
"I haven't received any progress you know? " He suddenly said out of the blue.
"Yes? "
He threw me a disbelief look, and began to stare, "I believe the festival is on by 21st? "
I gave him a knowing "ah, I get it now" sort of nods.
"It's about a week from now, " And that was all I could think about. Seriously, he didn't have to look so frustrated by musing his own hair now, except...
"I've completed all tasks you've given me, yet you didn't even bother to do my request? " He sounded mad.
"Well, excuse me?! What is it that makes you mad about? " I shouted back.
"It's more like what is it that doesn't make me mad about you, " He scoffed.
"Here they go again... " I heard Ronne wailed meters away in front of us, although the way he said it sounds like he was bored, but his eyes actually kept on glancing over his shoulder.
Somehow I felt bothered by Russel's moody mode, because no matter how intense our fights, he was always the one ending it by acting like nothing happened afterwards. Or most likely, I was the one blubbering and shouting at him, complaining about his mischief behavior towards me.
"Well, be more specific please. I can't understand your too biased, senseless, absurd way of talking Russ the Crust! "
"Oi, somebody pull their rigid tails please, or else they're gonna end up ripping each other's cloths, " Chad sang with a fake, terrified voice.
"Or biting flesh, just like zombies, "
"Scratching with their claws, just like cats, "
"Pulling each other's hair, just like bitches" Others were enjoying this too much that our blood started to boil. They even dared to call this a "marriage obstacles"?!
"Why don't you guys just... SHUT UP!? " Both of us shouted in unison. And all of them, annoyingly, gestured like zipping their mouths and drifted farther away from us. I sighed in despair, as I turned my attention back and prepared myself to receive another shout, or even caught a frightening stare as sharp as nails which made me cringe.
"You always manage to ruin the mood! Acting clueless all the time, is it that fun for you? "
Gasping in disbelief, I laughed sarcastically "Well, because I have no idea, why don't you spill it out now? So I wouldn't have to beat around the bush, "
Russel ran his hand all over his hair down to rub his face ever so vigorously, "I'm talking about your mindset, and our deal - aka, the lyrics I've assigned for us to make, " I saw his eyes drooped as he sighed, "... Which deadline is by 21st, "
"Well! We still have another... " I drew out my phone from my purse, startled. My eyes bugged, and my knees went limp as I managed to say, "Five days... " and my voice came out as a weak squeak.
"Come on, it doesn't as easy as it sounds to compose music, " Russel said, "Furthermore, something I most lacked of, so I have to make sure that's why I tracked you here with Ronne and others, "
I pouted, feeling great guilt. I remembered I had put it inside my purse, something I'd treasured for these past three weeks, something which instantly possessed the most favorite stuff number 2 on my list. The rich velvet note he'd given me.
"I didn't know if it might reach your ideal... " I handed the note, while he arched his eyebrows as his response, "You may think it's stupid... either way, "
He chuckled, "No, if you made it, "
"It's your work; you saved me, " his sincere smile radiated, like a thick smoke crept inside my lungs, I forgot how to breathe.
"This couple act like Goddamn officer; fire and freeze are their most favorite shit, " Chad shook his head, "It's on and off and on again, "
"Copy and paste, " Ronne agreed.
"Ah, I can only hope, it is turtle we're talking about here, should I remind you all of how amazingly slow she is? "
There had no point of saying it, was there?!
"Yeah, carefully Russel, hope and PRAY that you can still use that shitty mouth of yours after I tore it apart, " I growled.
His grin widened, "Look, it's apart already without having you torn it, "
I couldn't believe that someone could be this... this... IRRITATING!!
"DAMMIT! Stop calling me Turtle like I'm some animal! " But he ignored me. Yes he ignored me, and so did others. Instead I heard Rebbeca said, "I feel like swimming! "
Oh, well.
***
Within a daze I stare up there,
Looking at your window every night,
Hoping it's a window to your heart,
How much time will it take for you to peek outside?
Talk to me for a while, and smile.
Some say I am love-sick
Others say I am a love fool
I may be both,
Sick not seeing you,
Fool because of you
So how much time will it take for you to realize?
Notice me, I'm here.
My heart throbs can you feel it?
My chest hurts can you sooth it?
I'll just have to see you smile and
Can't get you out of my mind, isn't this crazy or it's just me, that,
Crazy in love with you,
Infatuated so much as if I lost my mind,
As if I've wasted my 16 years living without you...
Now, that I have you...
Still mad about you,
Captivated my heart no turning it back,
As if I'd lost it at a time I lost you
You make me can't live without you
If I say Love,
If I say I love you,
If I say Love,
Would it pass to you?
"LET GO!! " I heard Rebbeca scream loudly somewhere next door, I could hear the echoes. I looked up and chuckled. From down here, I could see her reluctant gesture, even her pale face. Standing at the edge of pool diving road with Chad and Chris kept on poking her from behind.
"I said" I didn't get a chance to hear her last words, merely because Ellie had shoved her impatiently, and a loud splashing water echoed as she fell into the pool. As soon as she came to surface, she shouted, "WHAT WAS THAT FOR? "
"Would you just jump, anyway? " Ellie put her hands on her waist, before she gracefully jumped off the board. I could see she was pretty much at it - pretty much enjoyed it.
"That looks fun, " I said.
"Yeah, "
I was alone with Russel in his studio. It was located just next to the pool and separated only with a glass fragment that looked like a door. I didn't expect that he would bring us lot to visit his house - his vast, enormous house. As soon as I stepped in, my mouth dropped in awe - no wonder he had such a stunning looks and luxurious car. He must be a noble or something.
Checking out the lyrics I'd made, his brows swiftly frowned and arched in turns, perhaps it had strayed out its basic, but I made it based on the instrument.
"Just exactly, " He started with a weak smile, looking up at me, "Love, huh? "
I was transfixed by the way he react, his usually cold eyes melted and his funny brows were no longer arching and frowning like some morons. When he began to sing the second verse like he meant it, his voice sounded soft and heart-wrenching.
"Notice me, I'm here" was the line which made me shiver as he raised his voice a few octaves gracefully - it was beautiful. It felt real.
I looked around and see no pictures - just paintings and casual stuff. Well, there had to be at least a family picture, but I ain't found anything alike.
"Sam, I think we should fix the rest, " Russel called out, "Some words are not in sync with the melody, " I approached him, walking slowly. He put all his attention on my note, murmuring something repeatedly like he was trying to match words.
"You live alone? " I randomly asked.
"Yes, " And I was surprised by his quick answer like he didn't have to think about it twice, and also, the fact that he actually lived alone. He didn't even pause to switch attention, instead his eyes were like, glued on my notes.
"What about your Mom and Dad? " I asked again.
"My Mom died four years ago, " He answered bitterly without looking at me.
Something hit on my chest - shit, I shouldn't have asked!
"I'm sorry, "
He looked up at me and chuckled, "You shouldn't - it's a normal question at least, " He said, running his fingers through his hair and back in checking my note.
"What about your dad? " And I thought I should just shut my mouth!
He paused before he answered, "I didn't have one, "
Thanks a lot.
This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.
No comments:
Post a Comment